I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
