How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
