i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
