I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
