She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
