One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
