Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
