yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
