hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
