Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
