I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
