Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
