I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
