have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
