SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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