Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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