Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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