Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
