Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
