He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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