I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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