In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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