Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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