I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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