i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she peed on how many people?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
