3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
