Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
