Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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