You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
