they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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