That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
