Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I still have a little drunk in my system
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
