Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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