my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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