STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
