Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I look better un-naked...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
