I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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