Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
