ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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