"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Enjoy the penises
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
