we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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