my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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