Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
