Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
