I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
