We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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