with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
