I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
