I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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