I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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