Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
