Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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