Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
