i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
