Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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