can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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