If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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