got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
